What my Twenties Taught me: Raven

I read Julianna Morlett’s “What No one ever told me about my Twenties” series with bated breath, I couldn’t wait for the next one to be posted.  I thought I’d like to do something similar…  I asked a few of my favorite girls to give us insight on what they’ve learned in their twenties // or rather, what they are learning.  
I turn 29 this year in December and Julianna’s series got me thinking.  
I have changed so much since 20.
There are a lot of things I wish someone had told me… you know, so I wouldn’t have learned a few things the hard way. 
but then, I wouldn’t be me without those lessons… catch 22.
I hope you all enjoy this week of incredible reads!
starting with the hottest mama, and wise too – Raven. 

Hey Fairytales Are True readers! I’m Raven and I blog about my sometimes crazy life over at A Momma’s Desires and Pacifiers

When Sarah first asked me to write a post about how I have changed from my early twenties until now, my initial first thought was, “changed? I haven’t changed. I’m still just as wild, crazy and fun as I was ten years ago.” I mean, my goal is to live as if I’m perpetually 23 for the rest of my life. But the more I thought about it, the more I started to realize that I have changed. In a big way. And definitely, for the better.

I met my husband when I was 21. He was 15 1/2 years older than me. (When you are dealing with a big age difference, every “1/2” matters, trust me.) We got married when I was 23.


(please excuse the quality of this photo. We got married in the stone age and I had to use the scanner)

One thing I would change about my wedding day (which was almost 8 years ago)? I wouldn’t have drank so much at the reception. Nothing worse than a boozy bride, right? But I guess that’s what a little growing up will teach you.

As for year one of marriage compared to year almost-eight? A few things have changed…

– I’m not so insanely jealous. So what if he ran into an ex? I have him now.

 – I am not, in fact, the center of the Universe. In order for me to be treated like a queen, I need to treat him like a king. (This one took a while for me to learn)

– Even if I don’t feel like doing something, sometimes I just gotta. For the greater good of the marriage.

– I watch my words more closely. You can be so mad sometimes that you just want to spew every hateful thing you can at your spouse, but words hurt and they can take a long time to get over.

Something else that has changed (besides my constant hair changes and his…not so constant hair changes)?

We have become better looking in our old age.

At least in my never to be humble opinion.


(us today)

And kids. Oh, the kids. If I had had my two boys when I was in my early twenties?

God help us all.

My goal was to be married at least two years before we had kids, and it turned out to be five. Which was a tremendous blessing in disguise. Because now? I’m able to be the kind of mom I’ve always wanted to be.


(me with my two boys, Gunner, age 4 and Colt, age 2)

This past December I turned 31 (still trying to come to grips with that. I’m almost 40 for crying out loud!) and the hubs will be the big 4-7 this June. But even though I went from this…


(crazy days on the boat with a crazy hot brazilian sprawled across my lap)

to this…


(quiet evenings on the river with my 4-year old)

and this…


(a baby in his lap…and not that crazy hot brazilian)

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I had fun in my twenties, but I was basically living for myself.

And now?


Now I have a lot more to live for.

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  • Reply Norah

    This is so sweet. I love it and can relate to it on many levels. What adorable boys, too! I love this series and can't wait to read more and check out Raven's blog πŸ™‚

    April 23, 2012 at 12:52 pm
  • Reply Samantha Green

    ahh this is a great post! i look forward to reading more this week πŸ™‚ xx

    April 23, 2012 at 1:15 pm
  • Reply heather

    What a great series! Isn't it amazing how we evolve through such a significant decade in our life?

    April 23, 2012 at 1:16 pm
  • Reply Megan

    i LOVED seeing this sort of, dare i say, not completely sarcastic side of raven? But yet, with the thoughtful and endearing words, still managed to throw in a few one liners that make me laugh out loud..

    how do you do it?!

    loved this so much.

    April 23, 2012 at 1:34 pm
  • Reply Sheila @ The FailteHouse

    I love this post – what great insight to see who we change as we grow. thanks for sharing πŸ™‚

    April 23, 2012 at 1:34 pm
  • Reply angie

    fantastic guest post!! really enjoyed it, what a great idea!

    April 23, 2012 at 1:47 pm
  • Reply Jeanelle

    Love this post… I feel my life has changed so much from 22 just till now (I'll be 26 this summer). I used to live for "Taco Tuesdays", crazy nights – for the best morning stories, and zero regard for responsibilities.

    Now to me a great night means curled up on the couch, a homecooked dinner and hanging out with my honey.

    I wouldn't trade those crazy times for anything (my girlfriends and I still laugh over the memories) but life just got a lot more meaningful.

    April 23, 2012 at 1:56 pm
  • Reply Britta Marie

    This was one of the best guest posts I have ever read. Thanks so much Sarah and Raven for sharing! Looking forward to more posts in this series πŸ™‚

    April 23, 2012 at 2:00 pm
  • Reply Jenni@Story of My Life

    Loved this. πŸ™‚

    April 23, 2012 at 2:34 pm
  • Reply Candace

    I think growing older is such a beautiful thing and I think that you, Raven do it beautifully. I know I appreciate things so much more than I did in my early twenties. Wonderful post.

    April 23, 2012 at 2:35 pm
  • Reply Alex

    As a twenty-something, I absolutely love this. I can't wait to read more πŸ™‚

    April 23, 2012 at 3:36 pm
  • Reply Lottie

    I loved this especially the last line.

    April 23, 2012 at 3:48 pm
  • Reply Holly

    Ohh this was so sweet – like happy tears in my eyes kind of sweet. I just turned 30 last week & I've been thinking about how much life has changed since my twenties.

    April 23, 2012 at 3:49 pm
  • Reply Alisha

    I have a feeling I'm going to LOVE this series!! Thanks for putting it together, sweet Sarah πŸ™‚

    Raven's story is absolutely precious. Thanks for letting her share it. Can't wait for the rest of the series!


    April 23, 2012 at 3:54 pm
  • Reply Mrs. Robinson

    This was such a sweet post! I enjoyed the totally different side of Raven. Good post! =)

    April 23, 2012 at 4:32 pm
  • Reply Jamie

    Fantastic post!

    April 23, 2012 at 4:58 pm
  • Reply Chelsea Coleen

    sarah- such a brilliant idea.

    raven! you are going to make me cry. i loved this. loved it so so much πŸ™‚ like i have goosebumps. what is wrong with me?

    April 23, 2012 at 5:15 pm
  • Reply Shalyn

    Awwwwwwwww I think I "aw-ed" about 10 times through this whole post. Love Raven and Love YOU too Sarah! Great posty post! πŸ™‚

    April 23, 2012 at 5:56 pm
  • Reply christine donee

    I'm still in my twenties. muahahaha.

    kidding. this is tremendous advice… and you, Raven, are tremendous. Tremendously awesome.

    April 23, 2012 at 6:09 pm
  • Reply Megan

    Love this post, such a great lesson!

    April 23, 2012 at 6:12 pm
  • Reply Life Abroad

    I love this idea Sarah, it is SO useful and I am going to be waiting eagerly all week to read the other posts! I'm in my twenties, and while it is a lot of fun, it can also be really difficult too – this post helped to put a lot in perspective.

    April 23, 2012 at 6:21 pm
  • Reply Caton

    Great idea and great post, thank you for sharing. As I close in on 29 as well it's so fun/interesting to look back and see how dramatically things change for most of us in our 20s.

    April 23, 2012 at 7:47 pm
  • Reply Lyndsay

    This is so sweet! Such a great idea for a series!

    April 23, 2012 at 7:59 pm
  • Reply Eloquent English

    First of all 31 is not even close to 40, it's only close to 32!!! I am 29 honing in on 30 as well… Love this idea!!! If you need another poster I'd be honored! xoxo A-

    April 23, 2012 at 8:23 pm
  • Reply Christina

    Soooooo sweet, Raven!

    April 23, 2012 at 8:59 pm
  • Reply

    aww. loved this πŸ™‚

    April 23, 2012 at 9:56 pm
  • Reply Marshall

    Raven, you're an amazing woman and Sarah loved this series idea.

    April 24, 2012 at 1:11 am
  • Reply Emily

    love this – what a sweet story! what a gorgeous family! xoxo

    April 24, 2012 at 2:00 am
  • Reply Maura

    love this series Sarah!! and Raven, this was incredible post! i loved it!

    April 24, 2012 at 2:31 am
  • Reply Miss Caitlin S.

    Raven – you are so adorable.

    April 24, 2012 at 3:08 am
  • Reply Casey Dawson

    Sarah, I just read through Julianna's series and SO look forward to yours. I'm 23 and a year out of college. No one is prepared for all the ambiguity and anxiety that comes along with being 20 because no one talks (or writes about it). It’s so helpful and powerful to be able to relate to someone else’s story. The work you’re doing here matters, thank you for creating an environment for hope and wisdom!

    April 24, 2012 at 3:36 am
  • Reply keely @ luxe + lillies

    i love this, Sarah! I went over and checked out Julianna's series and I too, am so looking forward to yours! Raven's was a fantastic start!

    April 24, 2012 at 5:04 am
  • Reply Running on Happiness

    This seriously made me misty at the end. Love it.

    April 24, 2012 at 5:35 pm
  • Reply Sara Louise

    That was such an amazing, poignant, post, Raven nailed it!

    April 25, 2012 at 4:55 am
  • Reply Kenzie R.

    This is an amazing post! Thanks so much for sharing πŸ™‚

    April 25, 2012 at 5:56 am
  • Reply Nat

    Love this idea! Can't wait to read them all! I just turned 30 and while it's kind of scary I have a feeling my 30s are going to be much better than my 20s were!

    April 25, 2012 at 3:56 pm
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