a breastfeeding story // second time around

{photo by jessica lorren}

Nursing the first time around hurt like hell.  After a long traumatizing birth, it was the last thing I wanted to work on right away.  I think it can be especially hard that first time around, even if you had no tongue or latch issues, because you are learning so much all at once!  You just gave birth … you’ve never breastfed before… or if you are anything like I was- put a diaper on a baby before!  How are you supposed to not suffocate your child while feeding them all while your boobs are suddenly the size of watermelons?  It was a lot for me to take in the first time.  There were lots of tears and a lot of those were fueled by a combination of dropping hormones and utter exhaustion.   You can read more about it all here.  The good news is we eventually got the hang of it!  Tuck was breastfed just two weeks shy of a year.  If you would have asked me that first week if I would have made it to a month my answer would have been heyeelllllll NO.  But I set a lot of mini goals – sometimes those goals would look like -“let’s just get through this feeding” and eventually we were talking in monthly terms.
I remember when we were traveling down to Mexico for our baby moon and JB asked me how long I’d want to nurse Wesley, and I got pretty defensive!  what if this that and the other.  But JB kept telling me to expect it all would be fine, and if not – we’d go from there.  But don’t do any evil foreboding!  No worrying period, but especially no worrying about things that are beyond our control and what will likely not even exist!  Which I think is really good advice because with nursing or with whatever problem you are fearful about as you have a new one- you really can’t stew over it.  When they are here, you face that problem (if it actually exists) head on.  God will give us all the grace to deal with xyz when we have to.  I totally digress!!  But please don’t beat yourself up if nursing didn’t go as planned.
This time around, I learned that like a lot of things with this birth, breastfeeding came easier to me.  It definitely wasn’t pain free that first 10 or so days, but because I knew sort of what to expect, it wasn’t quite so shocking to me.   So far Wesley has been exclusively breastfed and has really packed on the pounds.  My doctor (who I love but we disagree on a few things) advised us to supplement right away.  Wesley (like Tuck, and baby JB) had jaundice, and it can be dangerous if they don’t get enough fluids.  But wesley was going to the bathroom constantly, so I knew he was.  My advice for moms is just to use your common sense and intuition in that sort of situation.  If he was not going through tons of diapers, then I would have given him formula with no guilt.  When we visited the doctor four days after his birth, he was past his birth weight.  Apparently a baby should be gaining around an ounce a day, and Wes has been gaining two ounces a day.  Our doctor has a few names for him – mr. no neck, mr. piggie, and sir chunks a lot.  I think part of the reason why my milk came in quicker and has been fairly steady since is that I pretty much haven’t put the angel down.  I didn’t have that luxury last time, so I feel extra grateful I can with Wesley.  I do have a toddler though, so he’s mostly worn (when he was little i loved the lalabu, and now he’s big enough for the ergo or solly wrap).  I admit that I’ve been such a hog about wesley.  I’m also a lot less stressed out since I’m not working – which means I eat more.  I’m the opposite of a stress eater, anxiety makes me lose my appetite- so I’m sure that didn’t help my supply in the beginning with Tuck.
Things I did do that seem to have helped this time around:

  • I take the honest prenatal and lactation pills every morning.
  • love snacking on oatmama (that’s my favorite!),
  • if I’m about to pump I drink earth mama milk maid tea a bit before hand
  • I nurse pretty much on demand which unless a baby has reflux, or another issue?  I think can only help supply.  
  • drink a tonnnn of water.  
  • I eat a lot of good food but if that’s not around, watch out whatever is … because I’m eating it.  Nursing hunger is like no other.
  • In the first ten days,  a set of these lived in my freezer, or on me whenever I wasn’t feeding.  
I am here if anyone wants to chat about nursing, I’m so not an expert but I remember it being so nice to talk to someone who had been in my shoes.  
Lastly I want to say that whether you choose breastfeeding or formula feeding, I truly salute all mama’s.  With parenting in general there are so many different ways to do things, so many different circumstances and obstacles with each child; whatever you choose regarding feeding you are still a great mama.  don’t let anyone (or some silly voice inside your head) tell you otherwise. 
{photo by Jessica Lorren}

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