Monday, April 30, 2012

What my Twenties are teaching me: Bridget

Next up is lovely bridget!  and we even get to see a bridget kiddo pick.  we're lucky.  enjoy!
...

(Here's sweet, little, innocent Bridget playing golf in Sea Isle, NJ.
Oh, how ignorant she was!)

I began my 20's as a single college girl, footloose and fancy free.  I'm nearing the end of this decade with five kids plus a dog, a husband, and a house.

You can imagine my twenties have taught me a lot.

I don't think I could come up with the single most important lesson.  The pinnacle of lessons.  There have been so many and they have all served their purpose.  Some have been more painful than others.  While some, I've hardly known I was "in" until I was "out."  You know what I'm saying?  

But, I'll try to sum a few up.  Here goes nothing.

I've learned to give up control. 
This is a hard one for me.  I never knew I had control issues until I had control issues and was in the thick of it.  I think chaos breeds a need to control and for me, marrying a guy and becoming instamom, was chaos.  Thus, I became controlling.  A clean kitchen, the right food in the pantry, shoes off in the house.  I needed these things done to give me a sense of peace.  While I still really prefer shoes off in the house, I'm able to shrug off most of the others (most of the time!).  Let me tell you, being able to give up that control is freeing.  

I've learned fighting is good.
I was scared to fight with my husband.  I thought fighting meant we were doomed as a couple (I wrote about it here!).  I thought our fights were monumental, the biggest fights in the history of all the fights!!   Not true.  Fighting is natural, okay, and good.  And, almost six years in, I daresay we're better for them?

I've learned to be grateful.
I don't know when or how this one happened, but I spent much of my childhood comparing my clothes with the clothes of my classmates.  Our cars with their cars.  My looks with their looks.  I almost always came up short in these comparisons.  Not having the best of everything builds character.  I'm sure of it.  Add to that, I've learned somewhere along the way, to be grateful.  That life is a gift, we only have this one, and that being grateful breeds contentment.  And contentment is maybe the best thing ever.  I'd even say it trumps happiness.

I've learned that travel is where it's at.
Taking trips, going on vacations, traveling.  The best memories have been spent traveling.  Going places.  Seeing things.  Whether it's near or far, I can't think of a better memory-making thing to do.  I hope I pass this love onto my kids.  I hope that they don't invest in a big home but in traveling instead.  Sarah and JB started life off right--traveling!  

So, there are just a few things I've learned in my twenties.  I'm sure there are a few more lessons still to come.
Thanks for having me, Sarah!

17 comments:

  1. So many of these ring true for me, especially that the best memories are made through travel and my favorite line: "Not having the best of everything builds character."

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  2. Love the line 'Not having the best of everything builds character'! What a great perspective!

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  3. This series continues to blow me away! Bridget's lessons and reflections definitely have so much truth behind them that makes it easy to relate to her, even though from reading (and loving!) her blog, I know we lead different lives.

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  5. this really is the best series! i totally agree about travelling -- i think it is so important and you learn so much by travelling to different places :) xx

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  6. This is such a good post! I may just bookmark it. These are things I am learning right now! Life is so much better when you can see yourself growing in a good direction. Happy Monday Sarah! :)

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  7. i love me some bridget life lessons..she is a wise woman.

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  8. B. This is perfect.

    And right there with you on the fighting. Better than keeping everything inside, for sure. And let 's be honest.. sometimes those boys need a good scolding.

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  9. Love this, and I agree with the fighting point. It's not like we want to fight, but it's a given that we will not always see eye to eye with our partners! So why fight it (pun intended)? Just get it out and then move on!

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  10. i like the notion of contentment trumping happiness. i like that a lot.

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  11. I loved this post Bridget! Your advice is excellent!

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  12. such a great post. in need of doing this myself

    grace
    http://herumbrella.com

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  13. look at how cute her little girl pic is!! and i agree with these so much. all of them. but man, the control thing is tough!

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  14. I love Bridget's blog. These lessons are all such good lessons to have learned.

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  15. Great post Bridget! Your 20s sound really lifechanging - in a very good way!! Oh and I love the pic :)

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  16. Awesome lessons, I really enjoyed reading about learning to be grateful and learning that fighting is good. These are all great :)

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  17. Loved this list! And I completely agree with the travelling bit!

    Hugs from rainy Holland -
    Jeanelle

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