Thursday, October 20, 2011

warning: no rainbows, bebe puppies, unicorns found on here today.

i have post-longest-running-european-honeymoon-ever-depression.  
there, it's out.  it's a real disease.  {sort of}
I'm simply finding it hard to get back into the swing of things.  the real life things.
Today I kissed JB{Thee most handsome man in a suit} goodbye, walked him to his truck from the driveway, and handed him some coffee ...
all while wearing my favorite silk robe, messy hair, and a sleepy smile.  
and while that's nice and all, i need something to do.  other than sort through boxes.
i'm working on working, and there are prospects ahead.  even in this {seems to me sometimes} little hiccup of a town.
i need to be more patient.  i want things to happen overnight.
this week i've been having
a sort of  WHAT AM I DOING IN LIFE/ WHAT GOOD HAVE I EVER DONE moment.
so to answer a couple emails as to how i'm doing being home ... that's sort of it. 
and don't get me wrong, i LOVE our families and friends.
spending time at our parents is the best.
dinners with just JB and me - in a real live home have been incredible.
it's just i have a hard time with transition stages in life.  i don't think i'm alone on that either.


and i just...
i miss matisse {my bike!}, our swiss friends, market everyday, and though I didn't have a job over there ... 
I felt like enjoying life was my purpose/job for that time.  
i need to take that perspective, and move it over here - maybe it is in a box i sent... and just hasn't arrived yet.
hoping it will soon.

soooo... here's a little honesty for your morning.
and since i'm not  all sunshine, unicorns, and baby puppies ... how about some inspiring words from my pinterest.

lots of kisses to each of you.
and thanks for hanging in there. . .  (:

38 comments:

  1. I can semi-relate to the feeling.. You will find something, I know you will... just "keep on trucking" (: (and maybe get a new bike for the states, too?!)

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  2. Totally understand that feeling..I'm not a fan of transition stages of life, and that's what I recently went through.
    Love the quotes, very encouraging, especially that Oswald Chambers one!

    I know that God has some big plans for someone as sweet, beautiful and inspiring as you are. Hang in there :)

    His timing is perfect.

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  3. I know the feeling. Aside from the "re-entry" feelings you have from returning from Europe (we actually had a BOOKLET on that from my study abroad), you want something to do! But something you love. I'm still looking for my path in life, and what I'm doing now isn't it.
    But it keeps me busy right now! And gives me a little time to search for the right fit :)

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  4. I love this post. Not because you are sad and there are no rainbows, but because it is honest. Think of it this way... if you didn't feel a little saddened and frustrated, and didn't terribly miss some of the things you saw and did while you were in Europe, then you weren't also terribly happy when you were there. I think it is better to have passionate feelings than be mediocre about anything in life, because life is supposed to be great. Great by definition is not "extra good" but full. And you will always have a full and beautiful life wherever you are because you are great.

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  5. Keep your head up sunshine. Change is never easy. As a matter of fact I hate it. Once you get in a rhythm things will start feeling so much better. In the mean time bake something sweet and snack on that while creating something - best way to perk up :) - sarah

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  6. We have all been there! Every single one of us! Just keep your head up knowing nothing ever stays the same for long!

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  7. Sarah, I really appreciate your honesty. :) I personally can't imagine such a difficult transition. Not because you don't appreciate FL, but (as you said) because everything is changing.

    I've actually been thinking of you lately. I'm about to start my pre-intership (my first REAL chance to start being a classroom teacher) and I often think of the amazing work you did with the kids at the edible schoolyard. I really admire the passion and energy you put into that!

    So even though you're not feeling particularly inspired right now, just remember that you're still inspiring me! xo

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  8. thank you for those quotes of inspiration :) def needed those today!

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  9. you are definitely not alone in these feelings sgm. that top quote from pinterest has become sort of my personal mantra as of late.

    ps: call me craycray, but i sort of assumed from your pinterest you were contemplating opening a wedding design business. since you have such an affinity for all things pretty in life, it made perfect sense to me.

    whatever you do, i'm positive something amazing is heading your way.

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  10. I can completely relate - especially to that feeling in Europe of JUST LIVING being enough, because it is so wonderful.

    It is so so hard to translate that in American culture. And it's probably hard to see JB going off to his new job while you are still trying to figure out what you want.

    BUT it is only a transition, and it truly is a blessing, for you have the luxury of taking your time to find something that you truly love.

    Take pleasure in the small things (maybe photography? your photos are always amazing) and recreate that Swiss life here...it won't be the same, but it will be newer, and it will be YOURS

    xx

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  11. transitions are the pits. something wonderful will fall it to place for you, though i know how hard it can be to wait for that thing to materialize.
    try to enjoy the little things, it is so hard not to get caught up uncertainty.
    just keep focusing on the boxes and unpacking and little indulgences and delicious meals... and of course that husband-in-a-suit :)
    give yourself a break and try to relax into this time that you can set up your new life. when the time is right, the right thing will fall into place! xo

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  12. i love that change quote.

    speaks to me.

    i need to change something. bc if i am doing the same thing in 10 years...god help the person sitting next to me!

    thanks for posting!

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  13. you'll figure it out, I believes its those kind of moments that make us figure out what we truly want to do. Love your new sidebar picture by the way!
    xo emily

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  14. How could you not feel a little down? It's a tough jump to make. We made the move from NYC to small down Country NY, we were so excited. But then you settle and you think, what now? It's so quiet? It will get better, home is a beautiful thing too.

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  15. I'm definitely having one of those what-the-heck-am-I-doing-with-my-life moments over here. I have all these grand ideas in my head, but then reality sets in. And the thing I REALLY want to do is the hardest. Blergh!
    I know good things are coming your way, and you'll find the perfect job :)

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  16. Ahhh...I do know what you mean girl. However - focus on what you love doing right now...go take pictures...blog a bit more - cook more & become the best wife you can. Something will come your way before you know it!
    xoxo from Trinidad

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  17. You don't have to see rainbows everyday, just have faith that another one's coming soon. Love your blog, thanks for all the beautiful words. xo ~L

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  18. You already have / will do so many more amazing things! (and find your place here in sleepy hollow) I love you to da moon!
    xo, one of your biggest fans : )

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  19. Amen, Sarah! Transitioning is tough, and life changes are just that. I'll keep you in my prayers! One of my favorite quotes has always been, "When you've got nothing, God is doing something." It's true! Hang in there :)

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  20. oh pretty sarah. you are sweet and cute and just my favorite. we have all been there and i LOVE honest posts like this. i mean, how many times did i tell you while you were living in Switz i wanted to switch lives! Something so exciting about going on an adventure like yall did. but being back at home is a whole new, exciting adventure! and BONUS. we live closer now. yippppppppe!

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  21. Firstly just to say I'm loving your fab new profile pic which I just spotted - soooo cute. Thinking of you too and sending you lots of sparkle and virtual cheer. Totally agree - adjustments are so hard - but they are great opportunities to reflect on the good and great and find innovative ways to incorporate the things you cherish and want to keep in your life going forward wherever you are. A fresh slate feeling has it's virtues too ;-))! Plus remember if anyone can encapsulate 'happily ever after' its you and JB! Europe is always just across the ocean waiting for you both for more adventures xx

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  22. I'm right there with you in that I don't like the transitional process of change and the feelings of being unsettled that come with them. I was so glad when my husband got a new job in August that he could work from home for a while so that he didn't have to become a 9-5er and be out of the house all day all at the same time. His move into the office is pending and I don't look forward to those days when the house will feel empty without my man around to bring coffee and breakfast to in the morning. I have found peace in this and hope you can too, "Then have no care for tomorrow: tomorrow will take care of itself. Take the trouble of the day as it comes." His plan is always perfect.

    xo
    Chanel

    http://bywayofney.blogspot.com/

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  23. I am in your same shoes!!!! After graduating in June, being in France for a month, I am now in the process for searching for jobs and it isn't a snap the finger kind of thing. It takes time and I have to remind myself all the time. You are talented, beautiful, witty, and the right thing will come along ... I know it!! Keep that head up!! XO!

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  24. Hang in there ;). I'm sure it is rough to transition from just experience constant amazing-ness in Europe...to here...where sometime's it's a bit harder to find and requires more traveling. I also had a VERY hard time transitioning to working full time after law school. Being a grown up is hard and boring. But you'll start finding the beauty in your new life and ways to have fun adventures here.

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  25. Keep your head up! This time only exists so you can appreciate the better times :)

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  26. you can come back anytime and visit england. :) i can imagine the post-europe blues... im sure you'll grace them much better than i could.

    chin up, dear. you may not have switzerland, but you still have legs that won't quit.

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  27. Aww Sarah. I can imagine how hard that must be for you, especially while everything is so fresh. But I know you'll settle back into a routine and, in time, your life here in the U.S. will start to feel normal again.

    I am in a weird, awkward transition period, myself... and have been longer than I care to admit. It can be very depressing at times, not knowing where you belong or what you should be doing or what you've even DONE. But you (we!) are still young and can reinvent ourselves. That's what life is all about. But you've had some amazing, amazing experiences and they will always be a part of who you are. :)

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  28. the quote about being afraid of change gave me chills! i am the same way...i can totally relate.

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  29. Augh--transition. I don't mind the thought or the packing, or the weeks after change has occurred--but it is that middle time. I am with you on that one. It is SO hard. Hang in there--love these quotes and I completely agree with them. In these times, i like to try to stay "vertical" keeping my eyes on God and letting Him show me the path. :)

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  30. I've been in transition for two years, it's the worst. We just have to keep on working towards where we want to be, keep on planning, keep on smiling, and keep on loving. Bon weekend sweet girl xo

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  31. Sarah, god bless you!

    I have been there and got the t-shirt! I lost my job about 18months ago and I found it so hard to accept the change and deal with it.

    It is hard to deal with the change when there are so many questions and not enough answers. But everything will settle down and before you know it you will be exactly where you want to be.

    Just remember when a door closes a window opens. And things have a real habit to sort themselves out.

    I know that probably isn't that helpful but you have achieved a lot and done a lot of good even if you can't see it.

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  32. oh boy do I relate to this... but for the opposite reason.. now I'm trying to get used to life in Europe, sometimes longing for it to be time to return home and buy a house, make babies, etc... Trying so hard to embrace this change, embrace the amazing opportunity that it is and make Amsterdam home for a bit.

    I can only imagine how strange it is to be back home after your amazing adventures, but take it from me, there is no place like home :) Maybe somedays we can trade places and pretend that you are back in Europe and I am back home? :) Hang in there, your feelings are all justified and I am sure you will be feeling back to normal very, very soon.

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  33. Oh girl, I totally understand the feeling. And I knew, when I moved back from Germany, I was going to be in a place for 8 months and then move again...so good luck job.

    My struggle (struggles) seems to constantly bring me back to a place of asking: where does my identity lie? And while I feel I have God-given strengths and skills, who I am is a women is what God speaks so beautifully about. Not whether or not I have a job--even one I like--or whether or not I know where or what I'm suppose to be doing. But what I love, is that it's pushed me to expect a lot out of my day to day life--to try and see the amazing in the ordinary. Like you do so beautiful when you describe something as similar as saying goodbye to your hubs in the morning!
    xoxo

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  34. Change is hard. And change sucks. And I am not a fan. But, in my opinion, I think you're handling this REALLY well. Like really well. Because when change comes around in Amanda's world. I cry. EVERY dang DAY! And then after about two weeks (or a month), I start feeling normal again and find purpose in something. You'll get there I promise! :) The blessing in all of this is that you can discover what you REALLY WANT, which is pretty awesome.

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  35. This post sounds all too familiar. I graduated college a year ago and have yet to find a job. I went on a job interview I really saw myself loving, and found out yesterday they offered the position to another applicant. I feel so disappointed. Patience is something I am working on, oh, but it is such a hard quality to obtain. Thank you for your wise words, they inspire me. There is a plan for you, and for me :)

    ~Jacqlyn

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  36. I have been feeling the exact same way these days and these quotes rang so true for me...love quotes! Love your honest too...I've been trying to do the same on my blog...not that I'm not myself on it, I am, just opening up a bit more too! Sending a few extra smiles your way! :) :) :)

    Liesl :)

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  37. Although this is not a fun place to be in it's great to hear I'm not the only one going through this "transition"

    Hope you find what your looking for!

    xo gracie

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  38. I feel like you wrote exactly what is going on in my head. My husband and I just moved from Atlanta to California and I basically suck at change. it's no fun going through this, but blogging sure does help :)

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